"what in the world happened??"
Saturday, 12 May 2007, 11:01:00 pm
I woke up today morning feeling so tired. Yet, i still had to get up. It was already 10 plus am and still i want to sleep. Not only that im feeling tired, it's just that i love the feeling of staying in bed thinking and dreaming of things.Things that although never really happen,things that would keep one feeling at ease and comfort. How i wish to have this feeling forever. I would want to live in the world of fantasies, an illusional magical world, a world that i really belong in. Not that i don't belong in this world im in now,it's that i don't feel belonged enough.I don't feel the sense of belonging...Sometimes when i dream, i dream of being chased after.Couldn't really remember the actual image, but i remember it's when a group of ppl and i were playing Catch in a HDB flat. We were allowed to run on every level, but cannot leave the block. I wasn't the catcher, and i was running to the middle floor(i think it's the 9th floor). Then, the building started to collapse. Not the kind of whole building collapsed at one go, but the walls at the east side that started falling and continuing to the west side. I turned back and saw the crumbling of the walls and ceilings. Everything turned dark,like the place was ran by a fire. I began to run westward, but the road seemed to be neverending. The other side seemed to be going farther,and farther, and farther..Oh wells.. How i wake up?? I think i fell down and then i felt some pressing on my whole body, then i woke up. LOL.Weird dream. Anw this is one of my dreams only. There were many more, and dun wanna type it cos it's really ALOT.Haha. But there were really happy ones, and touching ones(that really made me teared when i woke up), and oso thrilling ones. Haha..oh sometimes i dreamt of scenes, but those scenes i wasn't the lead. I was just an observer. LOL!!Haix. I hafta do a collage for DESFD hw to represent my definition of "Happy". What is Happy to me?Haha. These are the ones i wrote:-when i reach home everytime, my parents come to me and hug me.-when i can lie on the vast grasspatch and stare at the beautiful skies.-when i eat my favourite foods(sushi,cha soba,ice cream,etc!!)-when i hear my distant friends say,"Hey i've not forgotten about you!"-when i am able to make everyone ard me happy.-when someone comes to comfort me when i don't feel well.-when someone(besides my family) buys breakfast for me.-when someone tells me i am important to him/her.-when i feel my life is worth living for.-when i do well in my studies and my parents are proud of it.-when i'm not sad.-when i see others feeling happy too. :)=when i meet true friends=when i am not alone.(Actually having company can be irritating too).Haha.They all seemed highly impossible to attain. Haix. These ARE my definitions alright.Today i had a conver with my cute kiddy fren, Yixin.Haha she's in Australia Christmas Island noww. Dunno whether tt place is always very cold.LOL! haha erm yah we talked quite long cos it's been such a long time since we've met and spoke to each other. Haix. Saddening. Must it be when someone is overseas then will they feel the sense of belonging at home?? haha. I wonder abt it myself..Hmm..have the feeling of missing everybody at Crescent and PJC again..Met up with Shuangying for lunch and Zhiying and Yiwen for dinner yesterday..Though there was nothing much to talk,i felt that at least we're able to meet up tgt and talk abt how life is and such.The feeling is good lahh..And! HAIX. My move to my aunt's hse is postponed again. Said dunno what their designer's wife is giving birth..GRRRRRGH!!! So saddening can! Jing our birthdays cannot celebrate there liao.. :(( In the first place they shldn't be tt picky rite..choose dunno what fengshui areas gd anot..when's e auspicious date to move.. what designer and contractor to hire... I just think although it's to create a perfect house, it's taking too long already. Haven't even started renovating the hse when they bought it last Dec..Oh wells..I'll just wait in vain..I'll leave here with a word to my mum and other mums(although it's not the day yet):HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!
