Haix great.
I've ruined my life up till now.

gosh.
I don't know how to deal with this kind of situation..

how how how how how.
:/

having some things really do make one lose other things..

I remember me telling myself once..
that no matter what,
I don't want any friends of mine to hate me or become enemies with me.
even those that don't like me previously i have to be friends with them afterwards.
I want them to see me and feel happy and glad that they saw me.
but now..

I don't know how to deal with it man..
I really don't..

I haven't been going down for weeks already..
I wanna meet up with you guys.
I really do.
I know it's my fault to let things become like that.
I didn't blame anyone.
I didn't.

I just feel somehow or rather, confused,
that how come things turn out this way..
perhaps small matters accumulate and explode to one big matter..
and i think this is the let-out point perhaps..
will we overcome this and have a stronger bond among us?
I don't know..

Everytime we've met up in the past,
I have this strange awkward feeling..
I don't know how to explain..
I think perhaps it was some sort of personality barrier..
you all are more havoc,
I'm quieter..
so I can't seem to entertain and interest people
with new things or jokes unlike some people who can..
argh haix.
:/

It's right that you should feel disappointed,
because I was never right in my pov..
to show TLC for certain "chosen" ones..
the TLC wasn't appreciated..
or at least i've never felt it..

I'm still searching for the one for me..
could you still be the one..?

Labels: emotions., thoughts